Hello hello and welcome! I just googled ‘welcome’ to make sure I spelled it right because it looks so weird, honestly most words look weird to me.
So what am I going to talk about today? People as always of course, but which people? From my past, people that I’ve helped and that didn’t care about me and still don’t probably.
*Waking memories up from graves* (I just watched The Originals)
I was that type of person who would help to anybody, I still am, but now I, let’s say, watch who I’m helping to. Of course helping is a good thing to do, but sometimes it can go bad without you even knowing because you might be helping someone to hurt other people and you wouldn’t even know what you are actually doing. I didn’t do any of that, hopefully. See, I don’t even know what I did, actually now that I think of it, I did help a group of people to hurt my friend, well at the time she was my friend or was she?
Now that everything is coming back to me, everything that happened to me and everything I’ve done, it makes me think what people were my friends actually. Even those who I always adored because they were good and kind, they weren’t such a good friends.
So back to helping. I’d help to anybody even to that other girl I’ve never talked to before from other class. Did they help me back? Some of them did and some didn’t, but that’s in past. Let’s talk about now. Present. Do they remember me? Are there any moments of their lives where they remember me because of who I was and because I helped them?
Being remembered is something that all of us want to be and that’s why we do some things, so that other people can remember us by them. Few years back when I was doing good stuff (helping others) I never thought of it as something that I want to be remembered by. I was never doing it because I wanted for people to remember me because of that, it never came to my mind, but now it does.
Now that I’m going out more often because I somehow always have a reason to visit my doctor, I see people from my old school, people that I used to hang out with before. Most of them just pass by me like we don’t know eachother which is actually good for me because I don’t like talking that much and I don’t like “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a long time, how are you?”, it just makes me remember everything and it’s so awkward because I have to say “Hey” back and talk about my current life. Now, not that I don’t like my current life, it’s good, but I changed, I’m not the same person from few years ago and if they found that out, they’d think I’m crazy and/or will ask me what happened to me and then I will have to tell them the whole story which is kind of weird and they are in it. Back to the main topic/question of this post.
Will they remember me in 10, 20 or 40 years when they get married, become parents and become older? Will they remember me when I grow old and die? (if I don’t die sooner because of how stupid and clumsy I am of course, no thank you)
Sometimes those kind of questions hit me and I wonder if I will remembered and also did I change their lives at least a bit, did I leave any mark?
Feautred Image credit magic4walls