Struggling with being fully devoted to something

Hello good people and whoever you are!

I’m that type of person that out of nowhere gets an idea to create something, let’s say instagram account and after few days gets bored of it. Devoting myself to something is my biggest struggle.

To some people it’s easy to just stick to something for years, without any problems, but to me, it’s hard. Today I will createan Instagram profile and in 3 days I will delete it because it’s not going good. I hate that, I hate myself for that. If we are going on full honest mode now, I’ve probably deleted like 20 instagram accounts by now, maybe even more. Crazy right? You have no idea how much I hate myself for that plus I’m scared how it will be for me when I get in a relationship, like when I get a boyfriend, how long will it last before I get bored of him?

Here’s an example, it really happened to me. I got this crazy idea of having a quotes profile on Instagram because I love writing. I tried it out, it went well. I met a lot of people and I got to like 3000 followers maybe even more, but one day it all went down, how stupid of me. I just decided that I will delete it because I felt like I didn’t post as good quotes as before. I even got the point of followers where people from my town would follow me and even crush’s cousin followed me which to me was the biggest goal when I created it.

Now, do I hate myself for deleting it? YES 100%. 

Since then I never got to that level of followers or even content put up on profile which makes me sad. Even now, so many years after that, I still struggle with being fully devoted to stuff, not just social media. One day I’d say “Okay from today, I’m going to massage my face every night before sleep” and guess who failed to do it, ME. Even working out, quit the next day. There is no way for me to stay fully devoted to anything, well not for now at least.

So if you one day notice that I haven’t posted for awhile or you can’t find my blog nowhere, you know what happened. 

Featured Image credit pixabay

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